Renowned Psychologist Reveals The Startling Truth Which Protects YOU and Your Children From Financial and Emotional Ruin During Your Divorce With Children. The absolutely essential “Single Parenting Pitfalls” you must avoid when parenting your children before, during and after divorce and working together with your ex-spouse. The right amount of focus you should give to your children’s opinions of your decisions (do this wrong and you could find yourself making decisions you never intended to make!) The simple laws of “child power.” How much power should children have in decision making? (There definitely is a “right way” and a “wrong way” to approach this issue… as many experienced single parents will tell you). And much, much more.

Not all children are going to come right out and tell you that they are having trouble dealing with the divorce. There are many signs though that can be an indication that they are struggling. You can then choose a good time to talk to them about it. If that doesn’t seem to help you may consider having them see a counselor.

You will likely have to use your own judgement to decide when intervention needs to take place. Sometimes children from divorced families just need some time alone to get through what they are feeling. Keep in mind that they may have trouble dealing with it down the road instead of immediately. There is no set time frame as to when children will have issues with dealing with their parent’s divorce.

Anxiety is very common for children once they find out a divorce is going to be taking place. This can cause them to have changes in their moods. They may be happy one minute and then in tears the next. They may seem just find one moment and then showing signs of aggression the next. Changes in their eating habits and how well they sleep are also common.

Older children may change in appearance. They may not be paying attention to their personal hygiene like they should. Sometimes this is just an issue with adolescence but not always. They may rebel too so their choice of clothing and hairstyles may be different from what they would normally be featured with.

Watch for signs that your child is withdrawing. They may want more time alone to deal with their feelings so be respectful of that. However, if they aren’t doing well in school, aren’t hanging out with friends, and don’t engage in normal activities that they used to enjoy then they may be suffering from depression.

It can be difficult to punish your child when they are acting out due to the divorce. Yet you have to make sure you stay firm about boundaries. You don’t want them to end up being violent towards you or other people. They need to learn to deal with their feelings of anger in a positive way instead of destroying things.

Be careful if your child is blaming others for the divorce. They shouldn’t be putting the blame on you or their other parent. They also shouldn’t be looking for outside things to blame such as work or other people. Help them to see the situation for what it truly is so they can accept it.

If you are able to identify the signs that your child isn’t coping well with divorce, you can help them to handle it better. Your child may exhibit a variety of symptoms or just one or two. Communication is the key to helping to discover what the true situation is and how to help them find a positive outcome.

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With the causes of divorce that are available today, it is lucky that things have certainly changed over the years and mothers no longer end up with custody of their children with the father getting visitations rights. Naturally it is always best to try to save your marriage but if that is not possible then most courts now want both parents to be equally involved in the parenting so joint custody takes place. One parent may end up with slightly more time than they other but children do get to benefit from both parents being very involved in their lives. This would all be set out by the court in the child custody forms.

This type of visitation arrangement can end up being quite difficult though. It will take some time for everyone to get used to it. Having a calendar just for that purpose can be very helpful. You can color code the days when the kids will be with each parent so that there is no confusion about it for all involved. Even young children can learn to see the different colors on the calendar and know what their day will have in store for them.

It is best if the parents are able to come up with a reasonable visitation schedule that works well for them. This way the children can benefit from it. With the schedules some adults have it isn’t possible for them to care for children in the mornings five days a week. All of that needs to be taken into account.

When parents can’t agree on a good visitation schedule though the courts will have to get involved. This often includes parenting time for a regular calendar as well as how holidays will be taken care of. Generally the children with switch holidays each year with each parent to make it as fair as possible. The exceptions are often Mother’s Day and Father’s Day which they will spend with the parent that fits that category.

Where many children end up suffering with such visitations though is due to the parents strictly following it. Children find that being with their friends is a very important part of their life. When they are missing out on social gatherings due to having to go with the other parent it can become tiresome and frustrating for them.

There are also events that will take place and children have to miss them due to going with the other parent. It can be weddings, reunions, birthdays, or vacations with one side of the family. It just isn’t possible to schedule all of these events around the visitation schedules of those family members who have gotten divorced.

It is the wise parent who is willing to give up some of their parenting time for the benefit of their children. They are willing to let them stay with the other parent a day here or there so they can attend such events. This needs to be a two sided street though with both parents being willing to bend a little. Such flexibility when it comes to the visitation schedules can take some of the horror out of a divorce for the children involved.

There are too many parents though that are very strict as to the visitation schedule that is set up. If they are to get their children at 6 pm on Friday night that is what they are going to do. They don’t take into consideration the feelings of the children when they do this. It can make children feel hurt as well as resentful though so you need to make sure you realize how such behaviors affect them.

Of course you do have to make sure you don’t get taken advantage of. If the other parent seems to have too many things planned on a regular basis that fit into your visitation time you need to discuss it with them. The children also need to realize that you can’t always change your visitations with them to allow them to attend other events. If you are very reasonable with the process though it should be able to work out for everyone involved.

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You can Stop Your Divorce if you are willing to try these techniques